Photos by Denisse Duran and Adam Ernesto Fuentes

 

Deflowering, swiping the v-card, and popping the cherry are a few common phrases used to identify the loss of virginity. The first time can be anything from exciting, awkward, tender, or just plain painful. The following students and professors remember their first sexual experience.

Brandon Clark, 23, graphic design major, Riverside City College

“I was not ready, and I only did it because all of my friends did. I was only 15 and I had no clue what I was doing. I barely knew the person I lost my virginity to. We went to school together but I did not know anything about her except her name.”

Vanessa Wright, 25, fashion design major, The Art Institute

“Ugh, I remember my first time so vividly and it was horrible. It was just really awkward; a lot of adjusting and ouch moments. I felt like he cared more about him getting his and not enough about me.”

Kristina Allende, 44, professor of English and literature, Mt. San Antonio College

“My first time was with my husband. It was not on our wedding night but we did live together prior to being married. It was gentle and something that I do remember because it was a positive experience, and I know that’s not the case for everybody.”

Jason Cooper, 24, undecided major, Riverside Community College

“My first time led me down the wrong path and it took me a while to realize that. I lost my virginity to an older woman when I was 14 and because of that, older women were all that I wanted. The older the better. I know it was very irresponsible of me because so many things could have gone wrong. I could have gotten someone pregnant, or worse, caught an STD.”

Victoria Hargrave, 24, business major, Los Angeles City College

“I lost my virginity at 14 and it sucked. As females, we expect our first time to be candles and flowers; you know, like a romantic moment. If I had a redo I would have researched and explored myself so that I would know what to expect because that’s not what it should have been at all. Probably only lasted five minutes.”

Tatianna Hart, 22, cosmetology major, Marinello

“I remember my mom trying to give me ‘the talk’ and that’s all I thought about before it happened. My mom told me it would either be the best experience or the worst. I hate that she was right. It was the worst thing I had experienced in my life so far because not only did it not last long, but it hurt tremendously.”

Ashley Davis, 24, English major, Los Angeles South West College

“My first time will always be a memorable time for me because I got pregnant after only doing it once. I didn’t know what a condom popping felt like because everything I felt was new to me. I was traumatized because I thought that I did everything right. Then one day I woke up at six in the morning with morning sickness.”

Jonathan Walker, 23, kinesiology major, Riverside Community College

“I was influenced by my older brother at the age of 18 and because he slept with so many girls, I was told I had to do the same. I came home one day and my brother decided that night I was going to lose my virginity at the “hook up” party he and his friends were having. I was nervous, but also excited. I even invited one of my friends to come. We got drunk and had sex four times that night with four different girls each. It was awesome. That’s where it all began.”

Paul Bridges, 25, English major, Citrus College

“I lost my virginity at the age of 20 to my then girlfriend and immediately felt like something was not right. It’s not like I did not enjoy it because I did, but I expected it to be amazing or mind blowing and it wasn’t. A year and a half later, I lost my virginity again; this time to my current boyfriend. The feeling that I might be gay or bisexual was in the back of my head because I also found myself attracted to men. My first time with my boyfriend was nerve-racking because he was older, but I trusted him. Everything felt great and I knew that this was how my first time was supposed to feel like.”

Craig Petersen, 67, professor of biology, Mt. San Antonio College

“You always think a lot about sex. I was probably older than the average person for the first act of intercourse. I believe I was probably 21. That being said, I had many sexual experiences before that with physical touching of my female partner and them touching me. But I was always very afraid of creating an unwanted pregnancy and so I was paranoid to have sexual intercourse. I was very well aware how babies came about. I had numbers of different experiences, but sexual intercourse; I really held off because I was just so afraid of fathering a child.”

Ranice Louis, 24, biology major, Mt. San Antonio College

“I was nervous to lose my virginity because I made the decision to wait until marriage. I feared that if it was not good I would have to spend the rest of my life with this person. I had little support from my sisters and friends about waiting and they kept telling me I should sleep with him before I marry him. I let them put stuff in my head that nearly cost me my relationship. I came to the conclusion that they were just jealous that I was getting married and they weren’t. I enjoyed my first time because it was with my husband and we took the time to do it right because we waited.”

Brian Mathew, 22, psychology major, Citrus College

“I think our first time is supposed to be enjoyable; not just something that prepares us for future sexual encounters —which is what mine seemed like. Everyone made a big deal of it, but I felt the total opposite. My first time felt like it was more for my girlfriend at the time than it was for me. For me it was just something to familiarize myself with, and something I can tell my friends that I did.”

Steven Accola, 25, philosophy major, Cal Poly Pomona University

“My first time was in the back of my friend’s car while he was getting busy in the front with his girlfriend. I was 16 and had been drinking at the time, so we parked on the street of my friend’s house after leaving a party. It was the thrill of getting caught by the cops or my friend’s parents that made it that more exciting. It became ‘our thing.’ Any place that made it seem like we were taking a risk of possibly getting caught or in trouble aroused us. After that experience we did it in a number of public places like the beach, movies, mall, school, cars, parent’s bed, and intimate restaurants. We found that when we did it in places with no risk it became harder for us to have orgasms.”

George Martin, 72, professor of psychology and human sexuality, Mt. San Antonio College

“I was about 15 or 16. We just made out and I would rub against her until I had an orgasm. We would make a dry fuck. This was in 1957 so I don’t know about nowadays, but it was pretty common. I was raised Catholic so it caused —you know— issues.”

Julia Castillo, 23, psychology major, Mt. San Antonio College

“My first time happened when I was 19 with my current boyfriend. He planned a picnic for us at the beach and invited all of our friends for a beach day and bonfire later that night. I knew that I wanted to do it that night, and I spent a lot of time talking to my older sister and my friends about it. My sister gave me all the advice that she could and made sure that I was comfortable with my decision. During the bonfire, he grabbed my hand and we walked along the beach. He had a blanket in his hand so we found a nice quiet place away from everyone and got down to business. It was a really sweet gesture.”

Substance is a publication of the Mt. San Antonio College Journalism Program. The program recently moved its newsroom over to Medium as part of a one-year experiment. Read about it here.