I don’t know, ask your mom!

Thoughtful questions to ask your mom this Mother’s Day 

After scrolling on TikTok, I came across a video from the account FlamingoCards with questions to ask your mom before it’s too late. It inspired me to ask my mom and the other mother figures in my life some of these questions. It was sweet to see them think long and carefully about their responses. With Mother’s Day around the corner, you might consider asking your own mother-like figures these questions. 

“What’s your happiest memory with your kids?”

This brought a laugh and a stumped look from my aunts and mom. They agreed that it was tricky to single out just one memory, but after a few moments my aunt Liz Quirarte responded, “My happiest memory would be my kids and I singing and dancing to all the songs that I sang and danced with my dad and my mom.” 

My mother said her happiest memory was when I took my first steps. 

“You just started walking out of nowhere when you were a baby,” my mother, Carmen Gutierrez, said. “Your brother and sister started cheering you on as we watched you make your way towards us. Seeing the way your brother and sister cheer you on, to this day, will always remind me of that special moment.”

“What was the first year of motherhood like for you?”

I had never thought to ask them a question like this before. I was able to gain a better perspective and another level of appreciation for mothers in general. 

“My first year of motherhood was an exciting one,” my aunt Ruthie Gutierrez said. “Yeah, it was pretty exciting to be a new mom, to see the new things that I was going to be able to experience with my child. Being a mom, celebrating all the holidays as a mom.” 

My other aunt, Martha Herrera, looked thoughtful as she remembered what it was like as a new mom. She recalled that it was a stressful time and full of emotions because she had to have a C-section for her first baby. 

“I felt like it was a new me coming home,” she said. “I felt like Martha, me, the woman stood at the hospital … I came into this new role that, although I was elated to be a mother, it was a very emotional time, because it hits me like a ton of bricks.”

She added that there was this new pressure because she was responsible for another life. 

“It was happy, but at the same time, overwhelming because of the responsibility and all the love that I had for this little guy,” she said.

Many new mothers feel this overwhelming sense of pressure and stress, which can lead to anxiety and burnout.

“What do you want or wish most for your kids?”

It was apparent that like most moms, what they want most is for their children to be happy and healthy. 

“My wish for you is for you to realize what you are capable of. I wish that you accomplish your dreams and do what makes you happy,” Carmen said. “I wish for you and your siblings to have someone to love and take care of after your father and I are gone.” 

My parents have been married for nearly 30 years and have shaped my perception of what love is. To have something like they do is what I want for my future. 

Brisa Gutierrez

Similarly to my mother, Liz wishes for happiness for her three kids

“Health and success. If they’re healthy, they’re gonna be able to work toward success and if they’re successful, they’re going to be happy,” Liz said. “That’s the three things I want for my kids: health, success and most importantly happiness.”

“What’s the best and worst parts of getting older?”

A touchy subject in our family is the thought of getting older. Not because of the actual number but because of the reality that comes along with it. The thought of losing one another is devastating. Martha explained that it’s one of the worst parts of getting older. That fear becomes more of a reality as they age. 

“I’m at the age where life starts to take things from me,” she said. “Getting older and not being able to be a part of my family and future generations, that’s the worst part of getting older.”

For Ruthie, getting older takes its toll on you physically. 

“The worst part is dealing with gravity,” Ruthie said with a laugh. “You want to be young and youthful forever and everything’s like traumatic. It’s like oh my god, you know, now I need a special cream. Now I have to do my hair and now I’ve gained like 30 pounds.”

However, she admitted that aging has some perks. 

“The best part is you’re just more experienced, more knowledgeable now,” she said. “You’ve been through so much that you don’t make the same mistakes over and over again.”

Asking these questions brought me closer to my loved ones more than ever, although I didn’t think that was possible. To have these people in my life is the greatest gift I could ask for. I’ve been lucky enough to have some of the best motherly figures and the best mother I could ever ask for. So, when the time comes and if I decide to have children, I know I’ll be okay because I’ll have everything they have ever taught me to help me along the way. 

What other questions would you ask the mother figures in your life?