Is This an Effect of the Apocalypse?

Procrastination, self-examination and the road back to normal life


“One day won’t hurt,” I kept telling myself everyday as I got home from work. The rush from getting out of the car and jumping into bed was liberating.
Was I just being lazy? Was I giving up? Or could it be that maybe this year we were destined to be stuck like this.

I guess you could say it was laziness, or maybe the lack of motivation, or the lack of energy I had to continue…doing anything. The future of the world was still unknown and it continued to drastically change each day. One moment we were all enjoying life, going about our daily routines, and the next minute and it was all gone.

When millennials think of 2020, we think of the shittiest year we have experienced so far. I can picture us now, looking back, having flashbacks of the year we may call the apocalypse. The year we ran out of toilet paper and sanitizing wipes. Definitely the year of history.

However, for myself and like many others, it was the year that we faced our seasonal depressions.

Who would have thought that while in a pandemic and with numerous of businesses closing down, that it would also turn out to be the busiest time in my life. At least that’s how it felt.

No schools open, no jobs open, no extracurricular activities. The world was a shit show.

Instead of being quarantined and able to have a little more time on my hands like many other full-time students, my experience was the opposite.

I found myself buried in work. I was working in the HVAC (heating, ventilation and air conditioning) industry during the summer of a pandemic.
I was working harder and longer. Even after work hours, I found myself mentally drained from work. I was officially clocked out.

Procrastination was at its finest. Being a full-time student and working full-time only became harder, especially as my hours increased at work. My constant “one day won’t hurt,” eventually turned into weeks and soon enough I was drowning in F’s in my classes.

Every day was another day I found myself skipping school work or pushing back school work in order to catch up with myself. I needed my self-care day more than ever.

The pandemic has taught me that there are two types of people: ones who can grow and continue to flourish in the worst of times and ones who end up getting too comfortable and let’s hard times get the best of them.

I was one of those people. I got too comfortable. I let my daily experiences at work affect me. I chose to procrastinate and take days off from school and my self-care. I felt stuck.

So, how do I stop feeling stuck?

I am learning, but getting back into a routine, or somewhat of a routine helps. Being my own motivator and bringing myself up is how to not feel stuck.

Full-time working students all have their days. I am now learning to juggle my time and energy. Least to say, it is difficult but consistency is the key.

As we continue on with this pandemic and the uncertainty of what’s next, I can only try to focus on myself. I have to continue to stay consistent with myself. I have learned that taking those “one days” did hurt.