Deep, in the darkest depths of the internet, the trade of child pornography exists. For many, this is a cold fact that often goes unnoticed. However, what if that taboo porn were more available to those who seek to view it?

This is the case with Instagram. The social media app houses millions of photos online. As of December 2014 the app had 300 million active users and more than 75 million active users a day. In the United States alone, as of March, there are an estimated 77.6 million users. Although there are clear cut guidelines as to what can and cannot be posted, some things slip through the cracks. It is within those cracks that what one man, Edgar, says “fantasy” awaits anyone willing to spend the time looking. Under the tags #Gay10, #Gay11, and #Gay12 pictures are uploaded that blur the lines of legality and child pornography.

Edgar, 32, knows all too well how to slip through these cracks. He sits quietly waiting for a sign that everything is okay; that we won’t be disturbed for a few hours. It took a lot of courage for him to come through for this interview with me, and even more to continue with the ones that followed. On the street, he appears to be a normal member of society. He has built a comfortable lifestyle for himself. On the outside, he does not seem that different from your average social media-obsessed young person. But he tells me later this is all a facade. Everything, from the way he cuts his hair to the shirt he’s wearing and even the socks he picks, is a mask. They are tools to hide who he is. Tools that keep the darkness from bubbling up and causing alarm.

Edgar is a pedophile and his favorite tool is Instagram.

He spends hours looking up hashtags, liking photos, commenting, and sending direct messages. But how do those who share taboo material get away with it? More so, why has there not been a bigger push to stop the illegal trade of child pornography and exploitation of minors? Perhaps this is because the posts offering and soliciting child porn are not right up front on the main page. There is a certain amount of digging someone would have to do to find something illegal. The use of hashtags, however, is one tool some people use, but Edgar said it’s about knowing who to follow.

“Sometimes you’ll see something on your feed and it will have a certain tag, and you know that account might share something. Other times you’ll have to scroll for a while before seeing anything,” he said.

But there is never a guarantee that there will be anything up at the time of search. Edgar said this is because these accounts are popups, run only for a few hours before being deleted or reported.

“It’s tricky because you’ll see someone spam a bunch of shit, and then an hour later they’ll be gone. But the trace is still there, if you know where to look and how to communicate.”

He is talking about the comments. When someone posts a picture that may not be hardcore child porn but suggestive in nature, the comments flood in. Everything from people telling the person posting it how cute or sexy they are, to more explicit descriptions of what they want to do to the alleged child. Edgar explains.

“I’ve seen guys — it’s usually guys you see commenting — saying some gnarly things. Everything from asking for vids of the kid jacking off to saying ‘let me fuck you.’ For me, that is going a bit too far. I don’t want to do anything that will get me arrested.”

So what kind of people are writing these comments?

Though many preconceptions come to mind when people think of who would be looking at such material, the actual people communicating back and forth are no more than your average person. They could be a neighbor or relative, or someone like Antoine Parrish, who identifies himself as a U.S. Navy sailor.

Responding to an offer of ‘naked pictures and video’ from an account that uses code-words associated with pornographic images of minors, Parrish — who according to his Vine account — lives in Maryland, commented on several photos including the one by now inactive user @bennyrosss. On the account run by @bennyrosss, a photo was posted asking people to follow another account with videos and photos of him naked. If users followed, they would receive a direct message of unknown content. It was suggested that the direct message would be porn related. This would normally raise a red flag. To make matters worse, the person posting under the handle @bennyrosss claimed to be a minor.

Via Twitter, Parrish was contacted for comment about his Instagram activity. He alleged that he did not know he might be soliciting pornography from a child. Before any more questions could be asked, Parrish simply replied “no” and blocked the Substance Twitter account.

After avoiding detection and connecting with others who are looking for kiddie porn, how do these people share what they have collected? According to Edgar, there are several ways to go about it. He said that the main way people “trade” is through direct message.

“It’s quick, private and you can delete it when you are done.” Although there is no way to save the pictures or videos from the app, Edgar said that what some people do is take screen captures.

“If you’re into it, a [screen capture] will make good spank bank material. The problem with that though is that you’ll end up looking at the same picture and that gets dull.”

This is where outside apps and websites come into play.

Outside of Instagram, there are a host of apps and sites that are quick and anonymous. Originally, these sites were created with the intent of chatting privately, but where there are shadows, so too lurks danger. One example is Omegle. Created in 2009 by then 18-year old Leif K-Brooks, Omegle was meant to connect two users anonymously for chat.

Using the handles “You,” and “Stranger,” two chatters can communicate about any topic they choose. Originally a text-based chat, video was added a year later in 2010. Two years later in 2012, a new feature was added to help users connect with someone who shares similar interests. With the “interests” option, users can enter as many tags as they like and if no other users can be found they are connected with a random stranger. It is within these tags that Edgar said people looking for child porn can connect.

Edgar is not alone. Hank, a 22-year-old who attends college in the midwest, has a part-time job, and shares a home with his best friend. His family lives several hours south and he sees them from time to time when he gets the chance. Now a religious man, there was a time when Hank harbored a secret so dark he only spoke about it in late night chats on Omegle and other anonymous sites. Hank was a collector and trader of child pornography like Edgar. In fact, the two connected over their shared interest and built a friendship around their desire.

“I don’t remember how Edgar and I met, but it’s been a few years. I know we’ve Skyped a few times, and we talk almost every week via text message. When we first met it was very sexual. We had a lot of the same interests and it was pretty cool. I found out we both liked ‘CP’ after mentioning a site I like, Nifty. He said he liked reading the stories and one thing led to another. Next I know we’re talking about [kiddie porn] and he said how he wanted to see some.”

Hank said at first he was cautious since it was in the early stages of their friendship. It wasn’t until a few months later that they spoke about it again. “I was really horny, and Edgar was on Skype giving me a show. I decided to test him, see if he was really who he said he was.”

It was then that Hank sent a link via Kik, an instant messenger app. In it was a Dropbox link filled with child porn. According to both Hank and Edgar, it was nothing explicit, just suggestive.

“I don’t remember too much about that link since they come and go pretty fast, but it wasn’t a ‘bad’ one. It had kids in the pool, without shirts. The kinds of things you’d find online,” said Hank. “But [Edgar] responded positively to it so I sent him a more ‘dirty’ link.”

That is where their shared and open desire began. Hank explains:

“It was nice to finally have someone to talk to. We both had a secret that no one else knew, that couldn’t be shared with anyone. I guess that’s part of what made me fall in love with him at first.”

After that night they agreed on rules to keep each other safe. They would not talk about what they called “cuties” via text, email, or Skype. They only used secure and anonymous apps and sites and only in private browsers to help keep their communication anonymous.

“It was a little tough at first because we had to work out some of the kinks,
I guess. But after a while it came pretty natural, almost like second nature. [Edgar] would find a link and send it my way via Kik, or I would send him something when we were on Omegle. At first it was me sending him links because he didn’t know where to find them.”

After teaching Edgar how to find his own links and sources, Hank began to feel uncomfortable with the frequency that Edgar would be sending links.

“In the middle of the day he would be sending things like, ‘hey check this out,’ and ‘he’s so cute.’”

Hank said he finally drew the line when he received a link showing child abuse.

“It was in the middle of the night I think, and we were talking. We hadn’t sent any links in a while which was nice. At this point I was more interested in him than the kids. But sometime during the conversation he sent me a link and it scared me.”

According to Hank, in the Dropbox link there was only one video. It contained something that Hank said he would never forget and the reason why he decided to stop looking for links.

“It’s hard to talk about because we had a pact, never to touch a child or watch anything between a child and adult. Before this it was all kids solo or together, but never any adults.”

Hank described the graphic video in which an infant younger than one year old was sexually abused.

What happened next is what Hank said shook him to the core.

“The guy was talking, and then he said something like, ‘should I put it in his mouth?’ and I knew it was going to happen. I thought he was going to kill the kid, I really did. I told [Edgar] that was it; that I couldn’t do it anymore. We agreed never to get anything with an adult. It was worse because this wasn’t a 9-year-old or something, it was an infant. This guy was choking a fucking baby with his dick and [Edgar] didn’t seem to be bothered by it.”

That was two years ago. Hank and Edgar are still friends but do not talk about their past child porn sharing. Hank is now attempting to go to graduate school for religious studies. He believes that learning about all religions and studying the nature of God will help him understand the sickness of the world.

“After all that time looking at all that stuff, I think it would be wise for me to examine the evil in the world. I don’t think what I was doing was necessarily evil, but I think adults who rape children are. Am I as guilty for watching as they are for acting? That’s something only God can say, but I know in my heart that I have done nothing wrong.”

Back on Omegle, Edgar continues to trade. Despite that video, he said that he tries to avoid anything similar.

“I’m specific when it comes to what I am looking for. I don’t watch or look at anything with kids under seven, I won’t tolerate it.” Edgar also has another stipulation. He will not view anything that involves rape.

“I don’t want to hurt children, and I don’t want children to get hurt. To me, rape is the worst offense in the known universe. People who rape should be killed in my opinion.”

His views were different when it came to role play, but that changed when he received a video from another person via Kik.

“This person and I had traded before so we were comfortable with each other. It was unusual to keep someone on Kik after trading but this person seemed alright. I hit them up first because I was horny and didn’t have anything new.”

Edgar said it started off simple. They exchanged photos and videos that Edgard deemed “acceptable” before things took a twist.

“They asked if I wanted to see something hot. They said it was two dudes and a kid. Of course I wanted to see it. I liked watching adults and kids play. Part of what excites me is the difference between the two. I like to see a fully developed man and kid playing around. Nothing rapy, just fun.”

What he received was anything but “fun.”

“They had a kid hog tied, two guys. I couldn’t see their faces but the kid was probably like 8 or 9. They were fucking him, raping him. He was on some kind of wood thing that brought him to their level. You know, so their dicks could go in. It looked like they were at a farm.”

According to Edgar, the video was 45 minutes long. Despite the graphic nature he did not immediately stop watching.

“I kept watching. It was bad, and I didn’t know how to feel but I couldn’t stop.”

Edgar said that he was transfixed by the video and didn’t care about what was happening.

“Looking back, I know I should have stopped. I just couldn’t. I was addicted. I could hear the kid scream a little, but the guys doing it; they were louder. One was at his head, the other his behind.”

Edgar said after that he immediately blocked the Kik user and deleted the link. He said that he couldn’t sleep that night. After that he developed insomnia and panic attacks. It got so bad he had to see a doctor. He never revealed the source of the trauma but he did tell his doctor it was something he never wants to see or talk about again.

Even after what he saw, Edgar is still unable to stop looking for links although he has moved away from Omegle to using Instagram almost exclusively. The trauma of the video has forced Edgar to reexamine his life.

“It’s fucked me up so badly that I decided to get help outside of my doctor.”

Edgar has joined a sex addiction help group.

“I go every week if I can. I don’t talk specifics. Most people think I have a really bad porn addiction. But it has helped me a little, I learned to curve what I do. I’m not focused on it all day like I was, now I only do it at night. I have also started dating a chick, sort of. I like her because she doesn’t want kids, less temptation.”

Although he is adamant that he never wants to hurt a child, Edgar said he would rather not be put in front of temptation.

“I can’t imagine touching a kid, but I’m an addict. It’s like someone taking methadone. It’s not meth and it does the trick, but put a tweaker in front of the real thing and what do you think will happen?”

Despite the availability of child pornography and the many sites that unwittingly allow the content to be traded, there is a cause against it. The FBI has a cyber crimes unit dedicated to stopping the creation, distribution, and use of kiddie porn. The Violent Crimes Against Children program was created to help “provide a rapid, proactive, and comprehensive capacity to counter all threats of abuse and exploitation of children when those crimes fall under the jurisdiction and authority of the FBI; to identify and rescue child victims; to reduce the vulnerability of children to in-person and online sexual exploitation and abuse; to reduce the negative impact of domestic and international parental rights disputes; and to strengthen the capabilities of the FBI and federal, state, local, tribal, and international partners through training, intelligence sharing, technical support, and investigative assistance.”

The VCAC’s priorities include the trafficking of child pornography, child exploitation and enterprises, contact offenses against children (Domestic travel with intent to engage in illegal sexual activity with children; child sex tourism {international travel to engage in sexual activity with children}; production of child pornography; coercion/enticement of a minor), and child abductions.

The FBI was reached for comment regarding the trade of child pornography on Instagram and other social media sites. Public Affairs Specialist Ari DeKofsky responded with an e-mail that said: “It would be inappropriate for me to provide comment on the specific allegations you plan to include in your article, except I encourage you (and your readers) to immediately report allegations of child sexual exploitation to law enforcement.”

Attached to the email from DeKofsky were various links that offered “background on the FBI’s role in child pornography investigations.” One of those links provided federal statutes regarding crimes against children.

According to Title 8 of the United States code, section 2252a, any person who “advertises, promotes, presents, distributes, or solicits through the mails, or using any means or facility of interstate or foreign commerce or in or affecting interstate or foreign commerce by any means, including by computer, any material or purported material in a manner that reflects the belief, or that is intended to cause another to believe, that the material or purported material is, or contains — (i) an obscene visual depiction of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct; or (ii) a visual depiction of an actual minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct…shall be fined under this title and imprisoned not less than 5 years and not more than 20 years.”

Many cases involving the exploitation of children and production of child pornography do not reach high profile status. This, however, does not mean that the FBI is not going after perpetrators. One example is that of Matthew and Patricia Ayers, who were sentenced to over 2,340 years in prison collectively for abusing and sexually exploiting a child in their custody.

According to the TimesDaily, the Alabama couple was accused of producing child pornography involving a 7-year old girl in their custody between summer 2010 through January 2013. The case began in 2012 when, according to the FBI, when “a friend of the couple contacted local authorities after seeing digital pornographic pictures of a child that were provided to him by Patricia Ayers.”

The Ayers were served a search warrant by the Lauderdale County Sheriffs Department in which computers, cameras, cellphones, and other media devices were seized. Among the confiscated materials were photos depicting Matthew Ayers in sex acts with the child. In 2013, Lauderdale Sheriffs requested the FBI’s help in January of 2013. It was then that the Florence Resident Agency, based out of the FBI Birmingham Field Office, began a federal child pornography investigation.

The FBI reported that an agent in Dallas was able to connect their case to the Ayers through an automated search of FBI records. According to the FBI, Patricia had, “emailed the subject of the Dallas case images of child pornography, including pictures of the child in the Ayers’ custody.”

Both Patricia and Matthew Ayers were indicted in May 2014 and sent to trial. During the trial, U.S. Distric Judge L. Scott Coogler said, “I have been on the bench since 1998 and this is the worst case I have personally dealt with …. You robbed this child of her childhood and her soul, and a maximum sentence is the only sentence appropriate.”

It is getting late and the house is starting to darken. Edgar walks with me across the lawn and back through the park where we initially first met. The sounds of spring fill the air as fluorescent lights come to life. He’s quiet now that we are in public but he keeps glancing over to make sure I’m still with him. We get closer to where my ride was waiting and we stop in the shadows, hidden from the drivers’ view. I can feel he wants to add more so I ask if there is anything on his mind. There is.

“You swear you won’t rat me out, right? I mean, I talked to you like I promised. You’ll keep yours right?” I assure him I will do my best to keep him anonymous and ask him to trust me. “Okay because there’s one more thing I need to tell you. I don’t want your readers to hate me without knowing me, but obviously they can’t.”

He stops again to make sure I won’t reveal his identity. If I promise to keep his secret he will grant me other interviews, though he cannot guarantee they will be in person. I agree to the terms. He speaks and his voice shakes. This is the first interview we’ve done and although it would not be the last, this is the only time he seemed unable to speak.

“I grew up with my dad. He was a nice man. He worked a good job, fed me right and took good care of me. From an outside perspective he loved me. But inside, he loved me too much. I was probably 5 or 6 when it happened.
I wasn’t scared because he kept reminding me he loved me.”

He stops and it is clear he is struggling to continue. “At first it wasn’t too bad, just messing around you know? But then his ‘friends’ would come. He was usually home filming or watching when it would happen. But a few times, a few times he left and things got bad.”

Edgar said that if his father left him alone with these men, the amount of sexual violence was unbearable.

“One time this guy — he must have been in his 40s — decided that I needed it rough. It seemed like hours before he was done. There was blood, lots of blood. I thought I was going to die. Then my dad came home. He took one look and panicked. He cleaned me up and gave me something to put me to sleep. I was out of school for a few days.”

After that incident Edgar said he was never left alone again, but his father’s friends would still visit.

“It was like a revolving door. They came and left, and I was just an object. Maybe that’s why I’m the way I am. Who knows, but whatever the case,
I never want to do that to a child. I never want to hurt a child, can you understand that?”

There is silence for a while and then a horn. My ride is getting impatient. He looks at the car and then at me. He pulls out his phone and starts to browse what I assume to be Instagram.

Photo illustration by Raul de Paz and Cynthia Schroeder

Substance is a publication of the Mt. San Antonio College Journalism Program. The program recently moved its newsroom over to Medium as part of a one-year experiment. Read about it here.