An Honest Review of Dating Apps

Because we all need some human connection


I’ve been in the dating game for about two years now — on and off. Honestly, it’s taken me some courage to put myself out there — especially in the middle of a pandemic — but I realized I’m a cute lil thang that deserves to explore my options and go on a nice lil date (safely, of course)!

So I downloaded a dating app. Or two or three.

I know a lot of people have a thing against dating apps. They wanna develop a relationship organically like an introduction by a mutual friend, or serendipitously meeting someone in class… or getting hit on by a musty dude in a dirty bar. Yum.

The truth is they wanna be like their grandmas and wait for a person naturally — whatever the fuck that means. But let’s be real. If grandma had a bachelor database engineered in that dumb little rotary phone, you bet your ass she’d have her weekends booked til the day they’d all be shipped off to war.

But come on! Life is too short to be waiting around daydreaming. So here are honest reviews of dating apps I’ve tried to get me back in the game. Disclaimer: my dating intentions might be different from yours, so take my dating app experiences with a grain of salt.


Yeah… let’s start with “the hook-up app.” You’ll go through a plethora of faces to which you’ll swipe left to reject or right to match. There will be a lot of profiles to go through, and you can swipe left or right to your heart’s content.

As a hetero woman seeking a male person, I would say the dudes here are pretty average looking. I’ve come across profiles of beautiful humans but I’ve also come across men who have no clue what their good angles are. Tinder has a feature to verify your profile pictures to avoid catfishing, which is reassuring if you’re concerned about unknowingly texting a 60-year-old man pretending to be 28-year-old eye candy… unless you’re into that?

But let’s be real, most people on Tinder are there for sex. Mostly every conversation I’ve had with guys always leads to the question, “So what are you looking for?” which translates to, “Are you here for sex?”

If you need to get the wiggles out of your system, this is the app to download. Otherwise, if you’re just curious to meet new people, it might take a hundred swipes to meet someone who has the same intentions as you.

Coffee Meets Bagel

This app is different in that every day at the same hour, it will send you eight profiles, which they call “bagels,” to calculate the type of person you’re into. They show the profiles without the individual’s name, and will only reveal their name if you decide to match with them and initiate a conversation. If you decide none of the bagels fit your type, they simply go away. You have to wait until the next day for another batch of bagels to lurk through.

From my brief experience, I could tell the types of guys here are looking for a whole wife. There are lots of physicians, dentists, software engineers, and graduate students. They want a wife and a house and a few kids and a dog and they will probably introduce you to their mom on the second date. If you’re looking for that too, this is the app for you! If you’re more of a casual dater, this might seem a little overwhelming.

I found this concept interesting, but also frustrating. The algorithm does whatever math it does to pinpoint your exact type of person — but how can they calculate that with only eight options per day? And who knows if that person happens to be on the app?!

It’s supposed to be considered “intentional” dating, but if you’re impatient this app might not be the one for you.


The app’s tagline is “The dating app designed to be deleted,” meaning it’s designed to help you find your person… supposedly. Instead of swiping, you send likes or comments on people’s pictures or prompts. On the other end, you receive notifications any time someone sends you a like or message, and you decide whether to match with the person or dismiss their profile from your list of admirers.

To me, this feature takes the pressure off of having to start a conversation from scratch, and it helps initiate a conversation around a fun picture or funny prompt.

It doesn’t limit you to a certain number of profiles, and once you start conversations it subtly reminds you and the other person of whose turn it is to text back to avoid ghosting.

Sure, I’ve met several people here who are just looking for sex, but I’ve also met people who are just down to have a few seltzers at the park. I think Hinge is the happy medium of the other two mentioned.

Whatever app appeals to you, no one should feel weird about dating via a dating app. Be proud that you’re putting yourself out there and living in the new age of societal matchmaking. If you’re open to it, you’ll have some fascinating stories to tell. And if you’re just a genuine, decent human being, you’ll likely make some friends along the way.

Even if you don’t meet your person match after match—which I admit I haven’t yet — don’t fret. I will never forget something one date told me that I’ve always appreciated: as long as we had fun, it was worth it.

People are truly fascinating, and I believe dating apps are a fantastic way to gain insight into perspectives from people of all walks of life.

So with that… be real, be nice, and have fun!