How to Get High at Home Without Anyone Noticing

A beginner’s guide on how to get lit without getting caught.

Graphics by Angelica Cruz.

You’ve finally picked up your weed, bought yourself a cute piece to smoke out of (or an apple if you’re on a budget), and got a lighter. Congratulations, welcome to the stoners club. In the beginning, it always seems like a complete struggle to just relax and smoke comfortably alone in your room. Especially if you’re like me, and still live with family. But as a fellow college kid stoner, I have compiled some steps to guide you through your hazy session without getting caught.

Stuff You Need

  • Hair band
  • Fabric softener
  • Toilet paper tube
  • Towel


1. If you have a bathroom, you are bound to have this tool. Be sure to get
yourself the toilet paper tube once the roll is done and save that shit.

2. You should have some fabric softener laying around the laundry room. If not, get up and go to the Dollar Tree. Pick up two sheets and wrap them around both sides.

3. If you have a lady or someone with long hair in your house trust me, you have this. Get two rubber bands and put it around each side with the fabric softener sheets. This allows the smoke to go through the tube and stay in without it blasting through the room, which would be a huge no. Please, don’t have your grandma walking in and start slapping you with a chancla.

4. RAD. So your smoking tool is set to go. Next step (and if you don’t have this then please buy one and take a shower), but use a towel and stuff it in the bottom of the door. This blocks the smoke from going anywhere else in the house. This is your ultimate protection tool and is the ultimate stoner’s weapon. You would choose this if you were in a video game.

5. This is one of the most important steps. Treat yourself and get a nice candle, maybe some incense, or if you wanna just be simple and get that Febreeze bottle.

6. Now is my personal favorite part of this whole process… put on a vibey playlist, turn it up, and spark up.

Just like that, you’re already on your way to comfortably smoking and being a pro stoner. You just need to get a Bob Marley vinyl and you have accomplished it all.