You are young and full of dreams, and you constantly question whether or not those dreams are being fulfilled. With all the background noise from those around you such as your parents telling you to hurry up and graduate, or Instagram spitting pictures in your face of peers you went to high school with who already have careers, or have started families or in the process, it can make you feel like a complete loser and a failure.

In the mere madness of it all you are trying to find yourself and become that person you were destined to be.

It’s a full-time job to work, go to school, maintain healthy relationships, improve yourself love and mental health every single fucking day, but it never seems to be good enough. There are always higher expectations set by those around you, so high it seems like a leap of death. The future is in the grasps of your hands but it still feels so far away.

It might seem like you’re living to simply accomplish goals that were set by those around you. But how long does this constant running and chasing for the stars continue? Does it ever end? Will I ever be good enough for any of you? You are living for yourself. Let me hear you say that again..

You are living for YOURSELF

So my best advice to you, and the only secret to destroy your constant self loathing is to say FUCK OFF.

Yup, that’s it! Pretty easy right?

You will never find happiness along your journey if you’re doing it for the praise of those around you. Just because Lucy from Instagram got her master’s in six years and Bob owns his own house doesn’t mean you aren’t doing shit with your life.

Let me tell you, having a twin brother almost completely done with his academic career at the University of San Diego, a top college, and your younger brother following close behind at the University of Irvine while I’m stuck on my third year at community college doesn’t make this process as easy as I’m making it seem, but think of it this way:

Lucy from Instagram and Bob with his own house are probably just as stuck and lost as you are.

Hard to believe, right? This is where the evil side of social media surfaces. We all post smiling pictures and accomplishments without ever showing what’s beneath them. There are some pictures I’ve posted that I look completely happy but then I look back and think,” Wow I was so depressed here.”

Take the picture above. This was taken when I was at one of the lowest points in my life. It shows the reality how fake we all are.

We live in this perfect world on social media where we don’t see the bad in our lives, the days we look like shit, the days we went to the beach but actually had an awful time, or those unedited happy moments that we don’t feel are good enough to share with the world.

And we do all of this for the acceptance of mostly strangers who will stare at your picture for no more than three seconds and forget about it moments later. Just typing this makes me EXHAUSTED, yet we do this every single day of our lives. We constantly feel alone and not good enough due to the fake and perfect world we live in on social media.

Lucy may have posted her degree smiling but did you know that she lost her apartment during the process? Or that she almost failed out of the program? Or Bob with the house who almost lost it last year because he became unemployed? All of the people we envy are struggling, whether it is mentally, physically, or financially no matter how perfect their life comes across to be. We all suffer in our own ways.

We need to turn off our filters and share our weirdness, our deep scars, and our socially unacceptable dreams and aspirations. Try and remember this the next time you wish were sky diving in Greece with Lucy or hanging out on the front porch having a mimosa with Bob. When society is screaming at you to work harder, just say FUCK OFF.